TWO KINDS OF FORGIVENESS
I approached the end of the year here at Pilgrim preaching a series on forgiveness. Forgiveness is a constant continuing process in our lives. And as a church family we must understand the need to forgive one another and keeping the bond of peace.
Ultimately there are two types of forgiveness. Imagine with me that a relative has deeply wronged you in a way that could result in severe legal consequences. Although the one might fully deserves the full weight of the law to come down upon him, you choose because he is a member of the family, to release him from all legal liability. He is judicially forgiven, and the relationship between the two of you is clear of all legal impediments. That does not mean that problems do not exist between you. The issue may put a serious strain on your personal relationship, but they do not jeopardize ones legal status. Judicial forgiveness does not remove the need for relational forgiveness.
By God’s grace in Christ, we are the recipients of judicial forgiveness, which means that we have perfect standing with God. We are members of His family forever. But relational forgiveness is about my ongoing enjoyment of a warm, intimate relationship with others. For example, I love my boys and girls dearly and sometimes their actions cause a serious strain on our relationship. But nothing they do, no matter how bad, can make me disown them. But because we are sinners, things sometimes happen that damage our enjoyment of one another and that, left unresolved, could do serious damage to our relationship with one another. A healthy family relationship requires the consistent extending and receiving of forgiveness.
I think this same principal applies to our relationship with our heavenly Father. As our Judge, He pardoned us once and for all when we trusted the Lord Jesus. But as our Father He forgives us many times, as we deal with the sins that enter our lives. This distinction lies behind the often misunderstood words of the Lord’s Prayer:
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
(Matthew 6:12)
We must remember that the so-called Lord’s Prayer is, in fact, a believer’s prayer, taught by the Lord to His followers as their distinctive prayer. We cannot view it as a generic prayer (which many often do) that could be prayed by anyone, regardless of their relationship to Christ. It is for those who have already been forgiven through faith in Christ. But we are still to pray for a forgiveness that is all about our fellowship with the Father. It stands to reason that, if I refuse to forgive my fellow-believer who is also a beloved child of the Father, I cannot expect my relationship to our mutual Father to be unaffected, any more than I would expect my dad to be unconcerned if I were in the midst of a nasty quarrel with one of my four brothers. My status in the family would not be at stake; my fellowship in the family would be.
Judicial forgiveness is unconditional, grounded on the finished work of Christ. It is once-for-all forgiveness. But just as the petition in the Lord’s Prayer is for daily bread, not a once-for-all provision of food, the petition for forgiveness is also about daily forgiveness as needed. I need forgiveness daily because I sin daily! And the forgiveness I seek is relational, not judicial. This relational forgiveness is conditional, based upon my relationship with others. And this is the challenge to every Christian, “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, our Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).
I share with you again the story of two brothers from a small South African Village. The older brother was tall, athletic, a good student and a natural leader. The younger brother was not. He had a back deformity and was very sensitive to that fact. However, he did have a wonderful singing voice. They both attended the same school away from their village. One night some older boys dragged the younger brother out and ripped off his shirt and made fun of the deformity in his back until he cried to his older brother for help. The older brother was there, didn’t try to help defend his younger brother or rescue him from an abandoned water tank they eventually place him in and forced him to sing. The younger brother was eventually rescued; he survived but was crushed in spirit. He returned to the family farm, lived a reclusive life, and never sang again.
The older brother was eventually called to service during World War II and had a dream in which he realized how much heartache he caused his brother. After getting out of service, he made the difficult journey back to South Africa and asked his brother’s forgiveness. Later that night in the dark of the night he heard a beautiful song – it was his brother singing a song for the first time since that awful night. And it was a song the older brother had written for him to sing when they were young boys.
Pilgrim this dynamic of forgiveness within the spiritual family is so important. In order that we may move forward together in fellowship, in the work of ministry, and in love – it requires forgiving one another.
